It's been awhile since I've blogged, but since I'm cramming myself studying for an open notes, open book, PARTNER, mid-term I've decided to take a break and blog about my life.
Growing up I was never blessed with wealthy parent's though I was surrounded by a wealthy family. Compared to my parent's brothers and sisters they didn't have a college education, or even graduate high school. To the naked eye I may have seem like a wealthy kid, because I always got what I wanted. Guess what? My parent's really had nothing and when they did have something they would spend it all on me. A lot of people throughout high school, thought I was rich, but what they didn't know was while attending high school my mom and I rented a room in someone else's house. Cause she couldn't afford anything else. I was ashamed, but she still tried to give me the best she could and while she was trying to give me everything she could, I gave her a hard time. When I was younger I didn't see how hard my mom was trying to survive for me, I stressed her out to a point where she had to take anti-depression pill. I wasn't ashamed back then, but now I am.
I never really asked for anything, but got everything in return why? Cause since I was the only child even if my parent's only had $200 left in their bank account they would still try their best to give me what I wanted. If they had to borrow money or work more they would do exactly that. As long as I was happy and seem like I had it all, it was okay. I am still ashamed. My parent's are poor, but they tried to give me the best. Ever since they broke up, both of their financial matters have not been in order. My dad and mom both rent rooms inside someone else's house, but they still try to give me the best they can. My life is more complicated, but I try to stay positive and "act" like I have everything and that everything is okay.
Going back to having un-wealthy parent's, but a wealthy family. My parent's couldn't afford to give me a car after I got my license. So my cousin gave me her car. I had a car, while my parents couldn't give me anything my family helped me. My aunt and uncle wanted me to have a college experience even though I staid in San Jose, so they provided me money so I could dorm at SJSU for two semesters. My incentive was if I got a 3.0GPA I wouldn't have to pay them back anything. I stuck to that incentive and got a higher GPA then a 3.0. I am blessed with un-wealthy parent's, but a wealthy family. I may have got everything handed to me, but I got myself to where I am now. My parent's split up, I went on a drug phase, I got out of it. I went on a drinking phase, I got out of that. I fucked up my life a lot, but no one knows because while I fucked up my own life I somehow made it through high school and got into college. It's amazing how I fucked up my life, but I am still here now.
Most people don't know my life, because what I went through is only half of what I actually tell people. While I may always seem happy or annoyed, I'm still ashamed. And while I sometimes can write my emotions out, I don't fill in the blanks. My thoughts aren't fully thought out. My life is a rollercoaster, but at the same time I managed to ride it out somehow.
